Husband….

Hi everyone,

So as i said in one of my last posts my husband has started a little life change. Gym and prepping to gain weight ect, good idea. To encourage eachother ill quote “im proud of him” is said. Yes well… things have changed i want to ring his neck haha. We never argue but im going to be honest he gets results quick and im a little envious. Im so ashamed but i am. He looks amazing after a week and nothing has changed with me. Hes getting up super early to go the gym comes home and helps with our normal kids school work routine, and is all happy and im seething at him like a wicked witch. I am not getting results. Im just not and im in this horrid little rut that no matter what i do i just cant change. I have taken a week off this week to myself to get a bit more active ect… and im not seeing any change. Ive put a stone on since june last year which now means ive lost only a stone and a half in the years ive had my band, ammib i need u girl (american accent that part hehe) but yes. Im “happy” for him but i would be happier if i felt like he does to. He gets a bit more free time to him self than i do as u mums know. which is why he gets to be more active and his job is strenuous and active he workds hard . Ive never felt envious of him haha i feel ashamed. Yeno what im sick of saying i need to learn to love who i am and this and that… but i dont. I hate what i see in the mirror i am big, people ask when im due as im all belly. My uniform is super tight and im scared to bend down incase it rips i dont want to love myself the way i am now. I dont have a problem i just want to see a change in my body ive spend thousands and i feel my expectations were far to high of my band right now. Yes i would probably be enourmous without the band but ive never reached or got near goal or healthy bmi and im sick of watching what i eat and how much. Haha all i do is rant, i try to be true to myself and everyone on here about what i feel and go through on my band journeys.

Im having such a up and down relationship with it i think this is normal? I dont know. But i need to see a change. I wish idd have had the sleeve like my friend did her results are just wow.

This is why ive told hardely noone about my band. The friend i told said to me today “how r u getting on with ur band? Have u still got it?” My reply ” well clearely uve noticed im not skinny so not very well and yes i still have it”  i will never speak to her again im disgusted  she ever had the confidence to make me feel that way.

So yes well done hubby. Haha lesson of the day for me, dont compete with your partner either makes u closer or wanna argue hahaha. 😂 xxx